There has been far too little nonsense lately. If ever we needed nonsense we need it now.
I can’t let go of LOST. I am forever haunted by what might have been. Or maybe it’s what I wanted it to be. I should have know better.
Anyway here is something sort of LOST like that got stuck somewhere in a wrinkle of my brain.
The conference room was well appointed. The table was real wood, polished to a high shine. The chairs were those mesh backed things that could be adjusted any way you would want to adjust them.
There were four men seated at one end of the table. They wore expensive suits. They had stern looks on their faces. One man stood near the other end of the table. Rolled up sleeves. Tie loosened. He looked nervous. He had a remote control in his hand. A huge television screen dominated the wall at his end of the room.
The man at the head of the table spoke. “What’s this about? Rumors are flying. Something about pulling the plug on our Survivor ripoff.”
Nervous guy said, “This came in an hour ago.” He tapped a button on the remote and the screen came to life, filled with a man’s face. He was too close to the camera. His nose was distorted, overlarge. It was clear that he was angry and nervous. His voice was barely above a whisper.
“You said the island was uninhabited. You said this was a controlled environment. You were wrong. There are other people here and they really, really don’t want us here.” He took a quick look over his shoulder then back at the camera. “They seriously want us gone and they are willing, eager to take steps to…” He paused, considering the right word. “…eliminate us. You have to come get us. Right now. Before it’s too late.”
Nervous guy hit pause. One of the suits said, “How did this happen? Whoever’s responsible is gonna be history.”
Another suit said, “We’ve gotta put a lid on this. It gets out, we have a PR nightmare.”
Suit at the end of the table said, “Okay pull the plug. Shut it down. How soon can we get them out of there?”
Nervous guy said, “We can’t”
All the suits sat up straight. Head suit said, “Why not?”
“We can’t find them.”
The suits looked at each other in consternation. Except for the head suit. His gaze never left nervous guy. “You know the coordinates, don’t you? Surely we know where we left them.”
“We do but we’ve looked there and they aren’t there. We’ve been there. There’s no island. We’ve used planes, ships, radar, sonar, satellite, infrared. We’ve tried everything we could think of. They aren’t there.”
“You must have gotten the coordinates wrong. We left them somewhere else. Widen the search.”
Nervous guy gestured at the screen with his remote hand. “See those coordinates on the lower left corner? Those are transmitted with the video. That’s where they are. We know exactly where they are.”
He pushed his glasses up on his nose and looked at the suits.
“They’re just not there.”