Apology in advance. I may be stepping all over your favorite movie over the next two or three days.
I saw Mission Impossible yesterday. It was great. Didn’t try to be anything more than what it is, a thrill ride, mile a minute, nonstop action. A great guy movie.
That’s the good news. The bad news was in the trailers.
It’s coming back. (Cue the Jaws music.)
This time in 3D.
The sappy love story. The cardboard characters.
Daa dum. Daa dum. Daa dum… (Okay kill the music.)
And here’s the worst.
The song. My Heart Will Go On.
I know. This may really be just a guy thing. Part of my revulsion is caused by the fact that Titanic beat Star Wars out of number one all time box office. You have to see that that’s just not right.
If I had my way the re-release would have the following scene running during the closing credits.
The credits began to roll. The lights came up and people began to stir around looking for coats and purses. Some were touched, wiping tears from their eyes even now after six months of continuous showing of Titanic. Couples headed arm in arm for the exit. Mothers dragged sleepy children back toward the real world. But one man stood unmoving, staring unbelieving at the screen. He was old, at least ninety. Frail, arthritically stooped. A few wisps of his unruly hair stood electrically in the air. He was mumbling something. He was looking at the patrons drifting by, trying find someone who would listen. But on one would stop to hear his story. They avoided his gaze, hurrying for the exit. No one would know.
“That’s not the way it happened. Not at all. She tricked me. She talked me into stealing that diamond. Then she tried to leave me to drown. But I didn’t”
He laughed quietly to himself.
“I didn’t drown. I survived. I’m still alive.”
More on Titanic tomorrow.