It’s been a week since my last post. Seems longer than that.
I’ve been distracted. We are in the midst of selling our house and buying another 450 miles away. There are so many things to think about, so many steps to complete. Offers and acceptances, inspections, appraisals, closings. Then there’s packing. There’s utilities to deal with, new bank accounts to open, then changing all those automatic draws and deposits. Timing is crucial. We’ve made countless decisions, signed papers and we have been aware of the consequences of each one but we lose sight of the big picture among all the details. So we want to know how much money will really be left when it’s all done.
So I lay awake nights thinking. Even when I’m not stressing about what can go wrong I’m laying there going over lists of things to do and when to do them. All of this leaves me distracted and kind of vacant spiritually. When I try to seek God’s presence I find myself veering off into those issues and checklists.
I heard a sermon a long time ago that addressed this. I find myself empty, desolate, unable to experience the presence, the communion of God. What I need to know is that He is there even when I don’t feel Him. The preacher said I should picture myself separated from Him by the thinnest of membranes. I reach out and press on the separating wall and I break on through to experience His presence.
Sometimes He takes us by surprise and we are overwhelmed by His presence. Other times it takes concentrated, determined effort on our part. Sometimes we need to break on through to the other side.